Skip Andrews Consulting

I recently overheard a loud, very animated conversation between two ladies sitting at the table next to me in a coffee shop.  One of them was describing her frustration with her husband’s new discovery of Viagra.  She explained now he had the stamina but he was still missing the passion in sharing the love between them.  She knew how sensitive he was to this subject but she needed to discuss her feelings with him soon.  What was she to do?

As I got up to refill my coffee cup, I turned to them, apologized for overhearing their conversation, (not like I really had a choice) and suggested that she should tell him that she loved him dearly but she was, umm, Viagra-vated with the situation.  Maybe a bit of bad humor or at least a bad pun might help defuse the issue and start the conversation on a light note. Continue Reading…

I apologize to all those readers who require good grammar in a post title. However here’s the point: how many “exactly” phrases do you typically get in your conversations? See what happens when you get two.

It is a fun and interesting game that has a direct, beneficial result for you.

The game: try to get the other person to say “exactly” twice or more in a conversation without making it obvious. If you correctly understand what the other person is communicating to you, then you are able to repeat back to them some similar re-statement of what they are saying or give an example that relates to the situation they are describing in such as way they will say exactly or something similar.

I’m sure you have had the opposite experience. You saw a movie or read a blog post that really intrigued you, so you share with your friend and they say something lame like, “Yeah, really” or “Oh, I know.” There is no confirmation that your sharing was actually understood. It leaves a hole in the communication. “Exactly” fills those holes by confirming that you understand and acknowledge the other person’s point. And it makes your sharing more interesting. Continue Reading…

The lady was overly apologizing. She had just spilled her freshly refilled coffee on my white pant leg causing a large mess around our feet.

“Don’t worry, today is my life-celebrating day. Tomorrow these pants won’t matter at all.” I said, trying to console her as I reached for some napkins.

“What!” She exclaimed, a little too loudly I thought. “What do you mean those pants won’t matter tomorrow?!”

I have been creating life-celebrating days for so long that I had forgotten that it is an uncommon idea. My matter-of-fact tone must have alarmed her more that the mere coffee spill.

Looking at her with a smile, I explained, “Once a month, I pretend that a particular day is my last day living. On that day, I don’t get caught up in the small disappointments that may happen during the day like not getting the parking space I want or getting cut-off on the freeway or, as in this case, having coffee spilled on me. If today really is my last day, then tomorrow having dirty pants in the laundry is not a big deal to what used to be “Skip”.

“That does not sound like much of a life celebration day,” she said grabbing the now dirtied napkins from me. “What do you do on a life-celebrating day anyway? Still sounds a little morbid to me.”

“Nothing really extra special exactly. Just I try to make an extra effort to notice the beautiful things that might otherwise go unnoticed, like the clouds in the sky, smiles from strangers, and simple things like that. I also call friends and family members I don’t often talk to but wished I could connect with more frequently. Sometimes, the only time we get to talk is on my life-celebrating days. A few of my friends get upset if I don’t call them on life-celebrating days.”

“That’s interesting. How do you choose your life-celebrating days or do you just wake up and say today’s the day?” I couldn’t really tell if she was interested or just trying to be polite as we finished cleaning up the floor and our shoes.

“On the first of every month, I draw a number from 1 to 31 written on some little pieces of paper I keep in a box just for this purpose. Then I mark my calendar for that day. If possible, I’ll treat myself to a better lunch or take a longer walk where I pay attention to the color of the sky, birds flying by, anything to just notice and appreciate the day. I know that some day for real, I won’t have a whole day anymore. I need to keep myself enjoying what I have now.”

“Like coffee stained pants?” she said grinning.

“Like appreciating that I have pants, and legs, and fresh coffee to enjoy. There are lots of people who don’t have those gifts. I am training myself not to over-look what benefits we have that are so often taken for granted.”

“I should do that more,” she said a little sadly, more to herself than to me.

“Make it easy at first, each month on the same number  day as your birthday for instance, make that you life-celebrating day. When you remember to do the drawing on the first of the month, that is also a good time to do that too for the randomness it brings. Maybe on that day, for some unknown reason, you really should celebrate your life and those you love. Connect with them.”

“Well, as I have said several times now, I am sorry for the spill and your pants; but thanks for the idea. Today, I feel that I really need a life-celebrating day. It’s starting out rough.”

As we shook hands, I suggested, “Make today your life-celebrating day. Call someone you love. Maybe they need more than a clean pair of pants, maybe they really need to hear from you, you personally. Maybe that will help improve your day too.”

A man sitting nearby who had possibly over-heard the entire conversation caught my attention. He reached out his hand, “I’m going to make today my life-celebrating day. Can I buy you a cup of coffee to go with your pants?”

Let me know how you celebrate your Life-Celebrating day! Please feel free to post your comments below.

I personally believe as soon as we — as a global community — recognize ourselves as one species, as humans all (beyond countries, beyond 19th century nationalization, beyond just being men and women) then maybe those other, more spiritual, more knowledgeable, more advanced creatures in the universe might let us join in their parties  and their celebrations.

Wouldn’t it be cool if we were allowed into the universal adult parties? Carl Sagan was right, there’s billions and billions of stars out there — we can’t be the only creatures in the universe.  I, for one, want to play with the big boys (or girls, or whatever they call themselves. I don’t know, I’m just a human. In other words, I don’t need to be more than I am or less than I am, just who I am.)

Anyway, this website is me being me, no apologies, no explanations. Just someone who believes that we can be better at working together, globally, nationally, as families,  and in our business relationships.

Easiest ways to have good things to happen to you:

• Be open and ready for anything positive when they occur
• Be open to any gift offered to you
• Look and expect to find new positive surprises

It really is that simple!